One of the top priorities in my life is regarding my spiritual path, the things I should follow, things that allow me to be in a good pace with myself and bring peace to me and my family. Being alone on this road tear me into pieces, because I realize that it brings distance between me and my significant other.

If I must walk alone then I’ll do it even if the destiny is not so certain. I wish it was like it used to…

today’s song:

Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Feathers on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me makes me lighter
Feathers on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my breath

Night, night of matter
Black flowers blossom
Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Feathers on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Feathers on my breath

Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire of a confession
Feathers on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Feathers on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Feathers on my breath

You’re stumbling into harm
Stubling into harm

This time I won’t choose something without at least a decent knowledge of it’s counterpart, everything arranged, roads settled down and may God help me to choose wisely this time.

Time to wait for carnival and start moving into my new home. It’s strange to move after so many time living in the same place, the house is cute and it’s very close to the beach, I think I’ll probably have an awesome time there.

————————————– DOUBLE POST ——————————————-

Carnival is starting to be arranged we’re going to a friends @ friburgo, perfect setting eh?

Today’s song :

Therefore, I will as always talk about people here, nothing better than some fucked up gossip

I gonna throw a new year’s party at my house on Dec. 31 and I’ve invited some friends to tag along and enjoy the night with me. It was all good, people were happy and I was joyous thinking about such lovely night and then suddenly people started trying to pressure me to turn our party into something I would never think about doing. It’s very strange that people can never get enough of your good will, they’re always trying to push you into something that could do you harm while pleasing them.

I’m glad that while I had this little problem, some people were still supportive to my ideia and decided that all they really wanted was spending some quality time with friends and have a laid back night doing whatever we feel like at the time.

Friends are roses, their beauty never comes without the danger os being hurt. (I am fucking cliché today, shame on me)

Today’s song is Teenage Riot by Sonic Youth. I’ll only post lyrics for Thurston vocals, I’m sorry Kim.

[Thurston]
Everybody’s talking ’bout the stormy weather
And what’s a man do to but work out whether it’s true?
Looking for a man with a focus and a temper
Who can open up a map and see between one and two

Time to get it
Before you let it
Get to you

Here he comes now
Stick to your guns
And let him through

Everybody’s coming from the winter vacation
Taking in the sun in a exaltation to you
You come running in on platform shoes
With Marshall stacks
To at least just give us a clue
Ah, here it comes
I know it’s someone I knew

Teenage riot in a public station
Gonna fight and tear it up in a hypernation for you

Now I see it
I think I’ll leave it out of the way
Now I come near you
And it’s not clear why you fade away

Looking for a ride to your secret location
Where the kids are setting up a free-speed nation, for you
Got a foghorn and a drum and a hammer that’s rockin’
And a cord and a pedal and a lock, that’ll do me for now

It better work out
I hope it works out my way
‘Cause it’s getting kind of quiet in my city’s head
Takes a teen age riot to get me out of bed right now

You better look it
We’re gonna shake it
Up to him

He acts the hero
We paint a zero
On his hand

We know it’s down
We know it’s bound too loose
Everybody’s sound is round it
Everybody wants to be proud to choose
So who’s to take the blame for the stormy weather
You’re never gonna stop all the teenage leather and booze

It’s time to go round
A one man showdown
Teach us how to fail

We’re off the streets now
And back on the road
On the riot trail

They had a topic like those “post a song and the next poster will rate it”  and I made a post with the most amazing psychedelic music interpretation I’ve seen to date with Avey Tare and Doctess (the cuttest couple on the music scene in case you you ask me) playing Purple Bottle from Animal Collective.

Their sinergy when playing this song is so great and they’re so passionate about each other playing this that the music really got me in a manner Purple Bottle never hit me before, but the guy who listened to it considered Avey Tare a retard and found the music awfull, how is this possible ????

This made me think that most people aren’t really prepared to accept new things, maybe that’s why artistic movies and songs are not so well accepted in the mainstream.

I wish people had guts to be more open minded and stop trying to follow patterns for their whole life.

And before I forget here is the song in question with lyrics so you can sing with me.

OBS: You guys should listen to a Doctess’s project called Múm, they have such nice music !

I’ve gotta big big big big heart beat, yeah
I think you are the sweetest thing
I wear a coat of feelings and they are loud
I’ve been having good days
Think we are the right age
To start out own peculiar ways
With good friendly homes?
You get me freaked freaked freaked on preakness
Never met a girl that likes to drink with horses
Knows her chinese ballet
Must admit you smell like fruity nuts and good grains
When you show my purple gaze
A thing or two at night
Make me sick sick sick to kiss you and I think that i woud vomit
But I’ll do that on mondays i dont have a work way
I like it when I bump you an accident’s a truth gate
I’m humbled in your pretty lense
I’ll hold you dont you go
Sometimes you’re quiet and sometimes I’m quiet. Hallelujah!
Sometimes I’m talkative and sometimes you’re not talkative, I know….

Well i’d like to spread your perfume around the old apartment
Could we live together and agree on the same wares?
A trapeze is a bird cage even if its empty and defintintely fits the room
And we would toooo

And my dear dear dear khalana
I talk too much about you
Their ears are getting tired of me singing all the night through
Lets just talk together
You and me and me and you
And if theres nothing much to say
Well, silence is a bore

I’ve gotta big big big big heart beat, yeah
I think you are the sweetest thing
I wear a coat of feelings and they are loud
I’ve been having good days
Think we are the right age
To start out own peculiar ways
With good friendly homes?

Sometimes you’re quiet and sometimes I’m quiet hallelujah
Sometimes I’m talkative and sometimes you’re not talkative i know….
Sometimes you hear me when others they can’t hear me. Hallelujah!
Sometimes I’m naked and thank god Sometimes you’re naked. Well, hello…..

Can I tell you that you are the purple in me?
Can I call you just to hear you, would you care?
When I saw you put your purple finger on me
There’s a feelin’ in your bottle
Found your bottle, found your heart
Gives a feeling from your bottled little part
(Repeat)

Hey oooooo

Gotta crush high
Thought I crushed all I could
Crushed all I can then I touched your hand
Crush high
Dont want it to stop
Cause stories of your brother make my crush high pop
And you couldnt really know cause its in my toes
And sometimes i wonder whered that crush high go
Crush high then i go and take some pills
Cause i cant do all of my dos and still feel ill
You get that whooooooo (x8)
(Repeat twice)

A mexican pepper sauce and a bottle of danzka vodka(YES THAT ALUMINIUM BOTTLE!!!).

As usual I’m still confused with my religion issues. I think that I will never be sure when it’s the best time to get back, as much as I love drinking ayahuasca and learning so much from it I am avoiding the feeling of being tied to a dogmatic lifestyle…

Today’s song is actually one of my favorites, but performed by some random guys in a acoustic jam session, this reminds me a lot of me and my friends playing.

Sufjan Stevens – Sister (played by anonymous people)

What the water wants is hurricanes,
and sailboats to ride on its back.
What the water wants is sun kiss,
and land to run into and back.
I have a fish stone burning my elbow,
reminding me to know that I’m glad
that I have a bottle filled with my old teeth.
They fell out like a tear in the bag.
And I have a sister somewhere in Detroit
She has black hair and small hands.
And I have a kettledrum
I’ll hit the earth with you.
And I will crochet you a hat.
And I have a red kite;
I’ll put you right in it.
I’ll show you the sky

can you picture this?

I don’t wanna be a blacktie retard, I don’t want to demonstrate my feelings for a person doing a party worth thousands and thousands of reais, I don’t even know if my love is worth that much money! A couple kisses, a tight hugh, smiles, some bottles of wine(and hell that must be cheapass wine!), a few friends and colors, a fuckin ton of colors, I don’t wanna see a person wearing blacktie in a hundread kilometers away from my fucking party, let me feel free, let me be free of scumbags!

the song of the day is simple things by belle and sebastian, as obvious as it gets:

f you want me I’ll be there
A boy to deal with all your problems
But part of the deal
Is for you to feel something

If you want me look me up
I don’t exist in usual places
Subtle as the wind is grey

If you want me you know where I am
I saw your arms in a dream
And there were blue veins blue
Blue veins

If you want me all you have to do
Is ask a thousand questions
Triplicate and file under
“Simple things you ask to make a young boy sigh”
Young boy sigh
Young boy sigh

There’s not much hope about keeping this active for more than 3 or 4 moths, and GOD that would be a new record for me!

My first thought about starting to write in public again begun with the will to not get into specific topics, this will be more of an emo kind of thing or in other words something like a “Dear diary, today I made a chocolate milkshake for breakfast and then my significant other screamed at me for turning the kitchen into a real mess.”

I don’t think anyone who isn’t into gossips will be able to handle this, but lets get started.

First of all I feel tired and uninspired these days, traveling like I’m doing lately is getting me kinda dubious about how long will it take to turn happiness and a cheerful spiritual mood into loneliness and despair.

The nights you spend at hotels alone and wondering why the fuck they cannot hire someone from that place to do your job is getting me over the edge.

At the same time I feel that, in a sense, my empathy with people has begun to shine again, finally I am able to relate to several different kinds of people again in a manner I couldn’t have done before . There’s a feeling of understanding and joy about meeting and getting to know people from different places and cultures.

Today I gonna quote Chris Simpson on the Immovable Motorist when he says “If you don’t feel lonely then you can’t feel anything at all” there’s magic on those wise words as it brings me some confort and the hope of being in my home town for months and months laughing with my friends and spending more quality time with Bárbara and the other ones I love and care so much.

Sing it with me(the video has the worst quality ever imagined, so download the song for better understanding) !

All the wasted life
In my car tonight
I got steel and bolts and lots of holes inside
I’m immovable
Got a tired soul
I’m afraid I just don’t feel quite like myself sometimes
I get angry so easy anymore
And miss the signs
All the burning lights
In this town tonight
The suburban sprawl
All those even lines
And if you don’t feel lonely
Then you can’t feel anything at all
And if you don’t feel lonely
Then you can’t feel anything at all

I guess my venting is done for today, time to blackmail people into reading this.